27k views? Wow. I guess I’m leaving this blog in good hands. Thank you so much for the views and comments. I apologized if I’m not posting anything like figuratively million years. As you know I’ve been busy with my studies like 24/7 and it’s getting worst because I’m already in my final year. Alhamdulillah for everything. InsyaAllah I’ll be finishing my degree this year and that’s it. I’m not planning on getting my Masters. Na’ah. I’ve suffered enough. Haha.
Talking about studies, I remembered why I choose Science at the first place. Growing up with parents who are both teachers gives me some sort of pressure. What pressure? I’m having trouble to fulfill everybody’s expectation. Being labelled as ‘The Smartest’ student in primary school sounds kinda cool but the reality, its not. I admit that I enjoyed that title. Getting tons of congratulatory wishes, gifts also the most hardest part was to undertake the trusts given.
It was all flowers, rainbows and even confetti (haha) but wait till you facing the worst part; failure. People were assuming that you ALWAYS can do better in everything. If I’m not getting good grades or even fail the subject, all I get was like mental tortures or something. I’m not saying that I’ve been bullied because of that but it was like my previous performances were not good enough. It was bullshit yknow when everything you did were not appreciated enough. Starting from that, I’ve become less chatty and secretive. Honestly, I talk less since I was a kid. Even with my parents, I am the same. What can I say, this is me.
Alhamdulillah I’ve got straight A’s for my UPSR which brought me into a more challenging world. Boarding school was never had a place in my mind not to mention my heart. A normal morning school was the only thing I can think of till I get an offered letter to a boarding school in Kelantan. Damn you, good result. Please do not be to convincing or else I’ll be ended up in other state land that I’ve never been before, like EVER!
Seriously guys, I’d cried. It was out of my plan. I am not going to live in Kelantan INDEPENDENTLY, like seriously? Why and why this is ever happened to me? I was like being forced to go there for the sake of my future. Well, what do you aspect a 13-years old girl will do over there after all these years leaving in a cacoon? Why do I have to go outside of my comfort zone? It is called comfort zone for a reason, right?
Oh well oh well, I’m just gonna go anyway. Never disobeyed your parents, guys. Believe it or not, I was successfully graduated after 5 years spending my school time there. Should I told you my PMR and SPM results? Huhuhu. Never mind, I’m going to tell you anyway. Alhamdulillah I got 8A’s for PMR and 6A’s for my SPM. I know, I know. Masa SPM memang banyak main! I deserves that. Hahaha. The only thing that I was so glad about was when my parents finally can accept my average SPM result. No more forcing or being pushed to the ‘Successville’. Alhamdulillah.
Pursuing my studies in Diploma in Microbiology in UiTM later on. For starters, it would be so troubled but luckily, I was armed with my independence tools and skills from my boarding school experiences. Nothing can stop me! Alhamdulillah. I finished my diploma on time with four times of Dean List out of six. I know right. Semester 2 dan 3 banyak main jugak! Hahaha.
Now, I am currently in my degree studies in Biomolecular Sciences and only have one semester left. Alhamdulillah. Now that I am 23, I finally realized that all the forces, pressures, mental tortures and pushes are all that driven me to where I am today. Sometimes, stress is the only thing you need to extort the good and positive vibes out of you. I don’t know about you but that’s how I roll.
May the force be with you ❤